In many ways, I always follow the holiday rules.
Thanksgiving requires pumpkin pie, even though I hate pumpkin pie.
I always wear something green on St. Patrick’s Day (mostly from fear of pinching by elementary school students and the random creepy janitor.)
But all the dessert recipes I’ve seen for 4th of July celebrations look like this:
And I get it. I do. Red, white and blue. Stars and Stripes forever. God Bless America.
But what if you’re super busy sitting on the sun-warmed curb of a small Norman Rockwell-esque town, watching a hometown parade and eating tootsie rolls?
Then you might not have time to line up strawberries and blueberries in perfect rows to emulate Old Glory.
Also, those selfies won’t take themselves. There’s no way a red, white and blue layered trifle should come before a selfie.
So if you’re going to a BBQ later and you’re supposed to bring dessert, pull a “Holley” and take the lazy way out.
Ice Cream. Nothing more American (unless it’s apple pie.)
Mint Oreos because:
Bread pan. Saran Wrap. Layer of Mint Marble Fudge.
Layer of Mint Oreo cookies, crumbled. Try not to eat more than 14 while you’re making this. 14 is the magic number. If you eat 15, you’ll feel sick. Trust me. I know.
Layer of Chocolate Velvet. Freeze.
Unmold and slice.
I realize this isn’t really bread. But it’s not cake and it’s not pie. And it’s way cooler than just ice cream. So since it’s loaf shaped and sliced, I’m calling it bread.
By the way, this was the ugliest slice. The other slices I served looked really fancy and everyone was super impressed.
If you’re still desperate to be patriotic, get raspberry sherbet and vanilla ice cream to be layered with some blueberries. Congrats. You’re Martha Stewart.