I got pulled over a few days ago. I hate that.
I was totally guilty. Of course I was running late. Why else would I have been speeding? Of course J Man was in the car with me. Of course.
I don’t want the boy to be afraid of police officers and I didn’t want him stressed out, so if I recall, as soon as I realized what was happening, I said, “Oh look! A friendly police officer wants to say hello to us! Isn’t that wonderful?” J Man, willing to jump on board with whatever, enthusiastically agreed.
I was going 34. In a school zone. I was lucky enough to meet the chief of police. I got a lecture, a stern warning, and I was on my way.
If only the story ended there. We live in a small town. Apparently, the chief of police frequents my parent’s bakery. Apparently, Matty B and the kiddos frequently stop by when the chief is there for his morning doughnut. Apparently Matty B has been courting a friendship with the chief. (He assures me this will bode well for our future and I can’t help but wonder what my sweet husband might have up his sleeve?)
In an attempt to build camaraderie with the law, Matty B used my embarrassing faux pas to his advantage.
“Thanks for not giving my wife a ticket!” he jovially mentioned at their last bakery encounter.
And now Matty B and the chief of police are on a first name basis. You’re welcome. Glad I could aid and abed this situation.
So, if Matty B’s future involves some ill planned bank heist, let it be known that it was my recent run-in with the law that gets him off scot-free.
And if for some reason that doesn’t work, I’ll just make the chief these doughnuts. Cause you know, police officers? Doughnuts?
These doughnuts are crazy chocolatey. So chocolatey they might be illegal. And hopefully, hopefully, this is as close to “illegal” as we get.
Right, Matty B? Right?
Chocolate Fudge Doughnuts
2 TBS ground flax seed
1/3 cup water
1 cup almond milk
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
1 cup ww pastry flour
1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla extract
6 TBS melted earth balance vegan butter
1/4 cup almond milk
1/2 cup dark chocolate (chips, chunks, whatever)
“Flax egg”: Combine flax and water in a small bowl. Set aside.
“Buttermilk”: Combine milk and vinegar in small bowl. Set aside.
Combine all dry ingredients in a large bowl. Add vanilla, melted butter, “egg” and “buttermilk”. Whisk just until combined. Spoon or pipe into doughnut pan.
Bake at 350 for 15-18 minutes.
While baking, warm almond milk for glaze in a microwaveable bowl. Add chocolate and stir until melted and thickened.
When doughnuts are done and slightly cooled, dip tops into chocolate glaze. Let rest until set.