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999 Island Dressing

It’s very possible that 1000 Island saved my life.

With the way that I wax eloquently about vegetable consumption and how to raise healthy kids, you might assume that I’ve always been a veggie/salad lover.

Not true.

As a child, I remember really liking green bean casserole (and I think anything smothered in cheesy/mushroom soupy gravy, topped with French fried things is probably pretty good) and I recall enjoying the peanut butter inside the celery sticks, which I usually left abandoned and alone. And surprisingly, I really liked (and still do) lima beans. Who knew?

Other vegetables were relegated to the “I’ll eat it if I have to and/or if there is a reward in the form of dessert” category.

Salad was the greatest evil of all. 1. Iceberg lettuce tastes like dirty water. 2. My little brother loved salad and was always gloating about it to my parents, in an obvious attempt to make them love him more than me.

I remember a very specific conversation between my mom and I where she asked me what she could do to help me enjoy my vegetables. Maybe a different salad dressing, she wondered?

I latched onto that right away. Yes, certainly I would become a salad lover if only the right salad dressing were presented to me!

My request?

1000 Island.

I have no idea why. I don’t think I had ever tasted, or possibly even seen 1000 Island, but surely this would be the answer to all my problems. And maybe my mom would just forget to buy 1000 Island and then I could fall back on that excuse for my lack of vegetable consumption.

My mom listened. She purchased 1000 Island and I was forced to eat my salad. Maybe this was the turning point in a life predestined for Big Macs and Cheez Whiz. Maybe without the introduction to 1000 Island I would have never learned to love salads and this blog would be about the best Lean Cuisine flavors and how to create a meal using only items from 7-11.

It’s very possible that 1000 Island saved my life.

But if you look at the back of a random 1000 Island dressing bottle, you’ll notice 3 things:

1. Eggs
2. High fructose corn syrup twice
3. Lots of ingredients you can’t pronounce

So I made my own vegan version.


And I shouldn’t even be calling it a recipe because all I did was mix ketchup, vegenaise and pickles together.


And while my ketchup doesn’t have HFCS, it does have sugar, so you can’t call this healthy.


And did you know that my pickles have Blue #4 in them? Whatever for?!? If you make this, get better pickles than I did.


So don’t fool yourself. My 999 Island dressing isn’t healthy. But it’s healthier than the alternative.


And maybe, just maybe, it will save you from a life without salads.

999 Island Dressing

1/3 cup vegenaise
2 TBS ketchup
1/4 cup chopped pickles
Salt and pepper to taste


Mix all ingredients in a bowl and chill until ready to use.


One response »

  1. Yum! I like recipes that are more ideas about what to do with common staples rather than elaborate ingredient concoctions. 🙂


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