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Almond Chia Seed Scones

I’m not a criminal. I do my taxes (ok, ok, Matty B does my taxes), I don’t shoplift (well, other than here…), and I always pull to the side of the road for ambulances or fire trucks.

I’m not a criminal.

I am, however, an awful driver. There. I said it. No shame.

Case in point, I was in a car accident yesterday. A car accident caused by me.

The other car involved? Matty B.

So here’s the story: The school is sponsoring a 5K Trail Run and Dave’s Killer Bread is one of the sponsors. I had to head out to their storefront to pick up their bread donation which just happens to be across the street from Bob’s (my best friend) Red Mill. I absolutely adore their everything , so Matty B and I decided to make a family breakfast date. Two cars. We’d meet at Bob’s, do breakfast, then I’d go to Dave’s/work and the rest of the fam would go to the park. Easy.

Matty B is stopped at a yield sign. The kids and I are in my car behind him. It’s a busy road. There was an opening in traffic. I thought he went.

He did not.

I did, though.

Yes, I plowed right into the back of Matty B’s cute little Honda. No major damage was done other than:
a) Matty B has a little whiplash
b) my license plate left an imprint on his bumper.
c) my ears are still ringing from Miss Rae screaming. I guess I startled her.

So far, my mistake has only been brought up every day since, so that’s not bad.

I wasn’t texting. I wasn’t drunk. I’m not a criminal.


However, just to be on the safe side, I swapped chia seeds for poppy seeds in my favorite scone recipe- you know, in case I get called in for a random drug testing.


I made quite a few swaps to this classic epicurious recipe.


The most notable?
Chia seeds for poppy seeds/egg
Coconut oil for shortening
Earth balance for butter
Soy yogurt for sour cream


If these substitutions offend you, you can turn me in…

…unless the police catch up to me first…

Almond Chia Seed Scones

1 TBS Chia Seeds
3 TBS water
2 cups flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup vegan butter
1/4 cup coconut oil (cold)
1/3 cup soy yogurt (I used vanilla)
2 tsp almond extract


In a small bowl, combine chia seeds and water. Set aside to “gel”.

In a food processor, mix flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Add butter and coconut oil and pulse until sandy/ crumbly. Add chia mixture, yogurt and extract. Mix until dough comes together in a ball.

Pat into a circle on a floured surface and cut into 8 wedges. Bake at 400 for 15-20 minutes, until browned.


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