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Almond Chia Seed Scones

I’m not a criminal. I do my taxes (ok, ok, Matty B does my taxes), I don’t shoplift (well, other than here…), and I always pull to the side of the road for ambulances or fire trucks.

I’m not a criminal.

I am, however, an awful driver. There. I said it. No shame.

Case in point, I was in a car accident yesterday. A car accident caused by me.

The other car involved? Matty B.

So here’s the story: The school is sponsoring a 5K Trail Run and Dave’s Killer Bread is one of the sponsors. I had to head out to their storefront to pick up their bread donation which just happens to be across the street from Bob’s (my best friend) Red Mill. I absolutely adore their everything , so Matty B and I decided to make a family breakfast date. Two cars. We’d meet at Bob’s, do breakfast, then I’d go to Dave’s/work and the rest of the fam would go to the park. Easy.

Matty B is stopped at a yield sign. The kids and I are in my car behind him. It’s a busy road. There was an opening in traffic. I thought he went.

He did not.

I did, though.

Yes, I plowed right into the back of Matty B’s cute little Honda. No major damage was done other than:
a) Matty B has a little whiplash
b) my license plate left an imprint on his bumper.
c) my ears are still ringing from Miss Rae screaming. I guess I startled her.

So far, my mistake has only been brought up every day since, so that’s not bad.

I wasn’t texting. I wasn’t drunk. I’m not a criminal.

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However, just to be on the safe side, I swapped chia seeds for poppy seeds in my favorite scone recipe- you know, in case I get called in for a random drug testing.

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I made quite a few swaps to this classic epicurious recipe.

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The most notable?
Chia seeds for poppy seeds/egg
Coconut oil for shortening
Earth balance for butter
Soy yogurt for sour cream

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If these substitutions offend you, you can turn me in…

…unless the police catch up to me first…

Almond Chia Seed Scones

Ingredients
1 TBS Chia Seeds
3 TBS water
2 cups flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup vegan butter
1/4 cup coconut oil (cold)
1/3 cup soy yogurt (I used vanilla)
2 tsp almond extract

Instructions

In a small bowl, combine chia seeds and water. Set aside to “gel”.

In a food processor, mix flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Add butter and coconut oil and pulse until sandy/ crumbly. Add chia mixture, yogurt and extract. Mix until dough comes together in a ball.

Pat into a circle on a floured surface and cut into 8 wedges. Bake at 400 for 15-20 minutes, until browned.

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