I’m not a criminal. I do my taxes (ok, ok, Matty B does my taxes), I don’t shoplift (well, other than here…), and I always pull to the side of the road for ambulances or fire trucks.
I’m not a criminal.
I am, however, an awful driver. There. I said it. No shame.
Case in point, I was in a car accident yesterday. A car accident caused by me.
The other car involved? Matty B.
So here’s the story: The school is sponsoring a 5K Trail Run and Dave’s Killer Bread is one of the sponsors. I had to head out to their storefront to pick up their bread donation which just happens to be across the street from Bob’s (my best friend) Red Mill. I absolutely adore their everything , so Matty B and I decided to make a family breakfast date. Two cars. We’d meet at Bob’s, do breakfast, then I’d go to Dave’s/work and the rest of the fam would go to the park. Easy.
Matty B is stopped at a yield sign. The kids and I are in my car behind him. It’s a busy road. There was an opening in traffic. I thought he went.
He did not.
I did, though.
Yes, I plowed right into the back of Matty B’s cute little Honda. No major damage was done other than:
a) Matty B has a little whiplash
b) my license plate left an imprint on his bumper.
c) my ears are still ringing from Miss Rae screaming. I guess I startled her.
So far, my mistake has only been brought up every day since, so that’s not bad.
I wasn’t texting. I wasn’t drunk. I’m not a criminal.
However, just to be on the safe side, I swapped chia seeds for poppy seeds in my favorite scone recipe- you know, in case I get called in for a random drug testing.
I made quite a few swaps to this classic epicurious recipe.
If these substitutions offend you, you can turn me in…
…unless the police catch up to me first…
Almond Chia Seed Scones
1 TBS Chia Seeds
3 TBS water
2 cups flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup vegan butter
1/4 cup coconut oil (cold)
1/3 cup soy yogurt (I used vanilla)
2 tsp almond extract
In a small bowl, combine chia seeds and water. Set aside to “gel”.
In a food processor, mix flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Add butter and coconut oil and pulse until sandy/ crumbly. Add chia mixture, yogurt and extract. Mix until dough comes together in a ball.
Pat into a circle on a floured surface and cut into 8 wedges. Bake at 400 for 15-20 minutes, until browned.