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Whole Foods Fail:(

I love Whole Foods. If given the option of a shopping spree at Whole Foods or a shopping spree at, say, Ann Taylor (a store I love), it’s Whole Foods all the way. I love that they have 14 varieties of peanut butter. I love the tofu on the hot bar. I even love the crazy man who stands outside and asks you to sign his petition against those who wear fur. Is this guy at your WF? Just mine? Ah, that’s Portland for ya.

So, when I found myself at WF with my friend, Glenda, I was thrilled that she was just as happy as I was to wander aimlessly. And then we spied the following…

Superfood Porridge Cacao Coconut Reishi? I had no idea what it was, but I knew I had to have it! Cacao? Good! Coconut? Good! Sign me up!

I got 8 oz. worth. Half to try hot. Half to try cold. My glee was barely contained.

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I tried it hot this morning. You just mix equal parts porridge mix and water.

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It would be an understatement to say that I was grossly disappointed, and the key word is ‘gross’. Seriously, this stuff made me gag. I was shocked and dismayed. Here’s why: I like almost every food imaginable. Even meat. (which I don’t eat anymore). It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy it, it was that I chose a healthier lifestyle. I adore almost every fruit and vegetable. Millet? Mmmm! Barley? Oh yes! Farro? Sign me up.

This stuff made my stomach turn. It tasted at best, like old baby formula and at worst, like baby spit up (or, at least how I would imagine that to taste…and yes, my babies drank formula. But you know what, they’re super smart, and I recycle, so that makes up for it, right?)

Needless to say, I was so sad.

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I stuck it in the fridge, in hopes that the awful flavor would evaporate and I could try it cold instead, but I’m not holding my breath.

And then I busted into something delightful to get the horrible taste out of my mouth…

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And in an instant, Whole Foods was forgiven:)

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11 responses »

  1. 😦 Sorry that it was a failure. You can blame me if you want……. g

    Reply
  2. I bought the same thing, with the same intent, and had the same experience. I think the foul taste is due to Reishi, which is known to be quite unpleasant. But I guess if you have cancer or other chronic illness, it’s worth it…

    Reply
    • I don’t even know what Reishi is – I guess I’ll have to look it up! But I’m glad I’m not the only one who couldn’t stomach it!

      Reply
      • It’s some sort of mushroom that has healing properties. People make tea from it, or a tincture. Not sure if the porridge has actual bits of reishi mushroom, or reishi extract.

  3. thanks for your post. I’m sitting at my desk trying the same thing and had to google it because i’ve never tasted anything so bad. your description is spot on so at least i know I’m not the only one. i’m with you, its really not fit for human consumption.

    -JD, nyc

    Reply
  4. I had the exact same reaction as you this week at Whole Foods! Cacao? Yum! Coconut? Nom nom nom. This porridge? OMG – to quote “Friends” – this must be what evil tastes like. DId anyone at Whole Foods actually TASTE this mess before deciding to buy it? Thank GOD I only bought a quarter-pound, but it’s still $2.50 wasted.

    Reply
  5. I chad the same exciting reaction as you when I saw it this week in Whole Paycheck. Um, Whole Foods. What a nauseatingly colossal fail this is! Did anyone at W.F. even taste it before deciding to inflict this on their customers? As they said on “Friends”, this must be what evil tastes like.

    Thank god I only bought a quarter-pound, but it’s still $2.50 wasted.

    Reply
  6. I’m glad I saw this… I thought it was spoiled or something…

    Reply
  7. Should have googled the porridge before I dragged it out to eastern Oregon untasted! I’ve got some soaking for breakfast and had great hopes it would be better than the vanilla almond porridge. Now I am not so sure. Crossing fingers and hoping for a different experience.

    Reply

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